Constant rejection and douchebags on apps and never really a clear reason. I am not a 10, but I do my best to be my best and always improve. And what sucks is that I don't really fit in any group. I'm an atheist half Lebanese/Greek so no religious connections, but I am completely Americanized. No matter what I do with my appearance as well, doesn't make a difference. I grow and groom a full beard...too hairy. I tan, too dark and the racists come out, I shave and don't tan....too twink, or seen as feminine.

There is also nothing wrong with fem guys, the guys I get with I have always liked for being themselves and not because they are masc/fem, so I am not sure why the first impression someone gets of me in that sense is that I am fem solely because I have a pretty boy look that even most straight guys have as well. I don't wear makeup, I clean my eyebrows just a little, my hair is a bit military styled but not as short and a bit more styled, I have a runners body so I am pretty fit. Basically, I've had a ton of luck when interacting with men and women in person, but complete shit when it comes to apps. This has actually had the side effect of me not having any gay friends because almost all of them are seeking something more than platonic, and if they aren't into you they don't see a reason to continue being friends. I get along with all my straight guy friends and have never experienced homophobia as much as I have on these apps, and they pick apart every flaw they can find in a person. It's horrible. I used to be comfortable in my sexuality before, not adhering to masc or fem just being a regular dude and myself, more akin to the average next door straight guy than the super fit or masc/fem whatever dude. Now, I doubt myself based on what gay men want, and I don't even know what that is anymore. Sigh, just wanted to vent.