Kind of related story. My ex told me while we were dating that she had a Fetlife account. We just had the conversation about what we enjoy sexually, so the topic of kink came up. I was just getting interested in that lifestyle myself as I had a few run ins in the past that I enjoyed, but never really expanded on. It was nice being open about that stuff. I thought maybe I finally found someone to experiment with. Anyway, flash forward, I decide to make a Fetlife account too. It should be noted that she did not give me her username, nor did I ask for it. I didn't care she was on this site. She said it was a good place for information, and a good place to talk to like minded people about this stuff without the stigma. So I made an account since I was a noob at this stuff and thought I could use some information. After about a week or so of being on the site I stumbled upon her profile. I got excited and clicked on it so I could send her a friend request. I thought she would be excited to see that I'm learning some new things from this site. Once I'm on her profile the very first thing I see, the very first sentences on her profile, "I'm in a monogamous relationship, and we haven't had the conversation yet about me having flings every now and then." I should have stopped reading there. I ended up torturing myself by reading the rest of her profile which was all about how much she wants to be dominated by men (spoiler: I'm female) and how being dominated by women wasn't fun for her. It took me a few days before I said anything. I didn't know how to bring it up. All I did was say "Hey, so I made a Fetlife account." I could see the subtle desperation on her face. She showed some fake excitement then changed the subject. She deleted everything on her profile the next chance she got. I finally summoned the courage and brought it up to her. She apologised and then I broke up with her. It was clear she was not ready for a relationship with a woman. Not to mention she was cheating on me with a guy from that site.