What's the story you have been dying to tell reddit, but just haven't had the right opportunity?

I once accidentally stole a horse.
I was drunk and it was outside of the only paddock for ages (we live in a small city, so the paddock was like 20 blocks away near the river) just eating grass at the verge on the street with a bridle. Wasn't even a side street.
I waited for what seemed like an hour then rode it to the only nearby paddock. Thankfully it was still near enough to the streets for there to be streetlights on the way. Even drunk though, without a saddle, it still hurt like a bitch. Got it to the paddock and with its friends, went home feeling pretty proud of myself. Anyway, found out on fb about a week later the horse was one of two that got loose the street over from where I found it, after getting out of a horse float. If I waited 5 more minutes one of them would've probably come looking for him.

/r/AskMen Thread