Never shared this. But to explain i have to include the conditionsin parenthesis
I once had a dream where i was in my bed in a different room (that i would later come to move into 1 year later when it finally manifested itself in the waking world.) I was in a dream laying in that bed and having a dream (yes like inception) and in that dream I was with my father. (at this time i was estranged from my father and strung out on oxycodone and Heroin.) and my father expressed his love to me as his son. (It was quite impactful because i was at a very low point in my life i was always deeply spiritual and just began studying occult sciences particularly Thelema.) My father expressed his affection and pride toward me as his son but also said that he was worrisome that i was lost, he also assured me that only by becoming lost could I truly find myself. He gave me his blessing and said he would always be there to show me THE WAY and his love was unconditional. My father hugged me in the way that a Father would grip his son. After tears of blood from human frailty, he began to kiss me and from there it became sexual and lustful. He over powered me as I pushed back, but i couldnt match his strength. He bent me over and began to sodomize me. I couldnt look away from his face, I was questioning why he would do this to me. his face changed from the face of my father to the the face of Aleister Crowley and I realized it wasnt my father, but the spiritual father of the path I chose to follow. He held me down and brutally raped my soul until he came violently and I became impregnated by the spirit of the vision whose number is 93. Eventually my mind was blotted out and I awoke.
The very next day upon awakening I was extremely distraught. I had almost no recollection of what happened but i felt like every fiber of my being was shattered. I had to call into work and take PTO time and spend the day veggin out and holding back my withdraws with the few bit of roxies I had left.
about a month later after doing some meditation while on mushrooms, i began to remember parts from the dream and that my mind instantly recoiled back from it. I put my sights on to unlocking what it was tho i struggled with my own self inflicted restrictions.
about 10 months later when my roomate got busted and went to jail, I moved into the next room where the dream took place. At that point I was more well versed in my practice that something was about to take place. I had this young junky couple (the guy i had worked and his girlfriend , along with 2 others) move in to help out with bills and access to drugs. During the spring i decided to take week off work after foolin around with the girl and her talking about some of my books i had a sudden awakening and the dream fullfilled itself. The beast manifested itself to my eyes and I could no loner stare at his face else it would blind me .And he gave me the keys for discovering my true will and name.
My world crashed and burned as the tower got blasted. The experience took away all my grounding as unstable as it was. I ended up getting baker acted and went to a psych ward and after coming back the duplex was empty and my landlord kicked me out. I had to move into a friends house who was a user as well and we both got clean together. doing so was like rebuilding my life and my temple. I finally put the pieces back together from the shattered key i was handed and used it to unlock the door to my own inner peace and strength. This all took place 5 -6 years ago, I have been clean since and have accomplished a shit ton with my life.
I know a lot of this didnt have to do exactly with the dream but looking back I can barely tell what happened in the dream and what happened in real life. It was a dream within a dream and then a dream inside the wake. As much regret as I have over the whole incident, (I only scratched the surface here, the whole truth is pretty damn cringy) Im still glad it happened. It has instilled me with an unshakable sense of direction and will to the point where immense obstacles like opiate addiction are just another petty hurdle to lunge over and on to greater and greater feats.