what's the weirdest rumor you've ever heard about yourself and how did you react when you first heard it? NSFW

When I was 20 I was friends with a guy who was 35 or so and a car mechanic, he helped me work on my car and I helped him work on other peoples cars he took as side jobs. He was dating a red head girl his age with a 13 or 14 year old daughter and both of them were short, pudgy, and really mean spirited. Anyways I joined the military and didn't keep in touch with him, and when I get out and moved back to my home town I decided to look him up. I went to where his girlfriend worked and she still worked there but wasn't there at the time, so I left my number and told them to tell her to call me.

I find out from another old friend that he passed away, apparently he got pissed off at his ex wife and stole her car and totaled it by driving it into the woods. Of course he ended up in jail, and his appendix ruptured while he was in and it killed him.

I also find out that his girlfriends daughter went around telling people I molested his son as well as raped her and that I joined the military to avoid going to jail over it. If I had seen her before finding that out I would have considered her a friend, if she told me someone raped her I would have told her to call the cops and handed her my phone. As far as made up bullshit goes I gotta hand it to her, I never would have guessed I would be accused of being a bisexual pedophile rapist all in one go.

She got wind that I was back, probably because I left my phone number at her moms work place, and started telling mutual friends that story again. The one guy that believed her is one that didn't know me from before and tried to start a fight with me over it, but he is currently in jail over something else so it wasn't a big loss of a friend. I still haven't seen her and really don't want to, but if I ever do I will hand her my phone and tell her to call the cops. I know they would take it seriously but I also know her story would fall apart when they find and talk to his son, and it would be amusing to watch how that unfolds.

/r/AskReddit Thread