We keep driving, and he repeats this motion of hand onto dick three more times before we finally get on the freeway and im quietly seething the whole fucking way back. Hes not sober, but hes sober enough to realize ive taken the exit to get to my house, not his and he asks me where im going. Me: "Home." Him:"Well, we could go back to my place, my parents are home so we'll have to be quiet, but we can go to the guesthouse" Me: "Id rather rock back and forth on a cheesgrater butt naked." Him: "Huh?" Me: "No, i have to get home, i have some cousins over." So we're almost to my house, im shaking with excitement, and he says- pull over. pull over. I realize suddenly, hes going to barf so i pull over quickly, he opens the door and begins to vomit intensely and horrifically, and the smell of steak, chili and alcohol hits me. as hes puking out the door, i see that from his back jeans pocket there is a wad of cash falling out. At least 3-4 twenty dollar bills. So im like, this son of a bitch was trying to con me into paying for his food. How many girls has he done this to? I mean hes certainly attractive enough- and then i shudder at how many girls have not only paid for his drinks and dinner, but then fucked him after. I repeat again, the cheese grater sounded better. So finally hes done puking, closes the door, i drive the last fucking block to my house, and he sees the cars lined up outside my house. Now, my cousins had come over while i was gone, parents are in mexico for the summer, they have started the party without me, but i am very excited to go in and join etc etc. John sees and hears this party noise, and asks me if he can come in. Before i respond, i reach over and grab his phone out of the cupholder, and slide it open (no lock code, i got so lucky) and i procees to delete all texts and calls from and to me, and my contact info out of his phone. I had been planning this on the car ride over because i never want this fuckboy to EVER be able to contact me again. Then, because he hasnt realized that was his phone i had and not mine, he assumes im looking through my phone, dawdling and stalling because i dont want to go inside or something, and takes that as me wanting him to make a pass at me. so i look over at him and in the dim light of the streetlight i sees that he has pulled out his SOFT FLACCID DICK and is kind of grinning at me and he says, and for the third time I SHIT YOU NOT "are you gonna do something about this?" I have finally had enough. I am home, safely, i have rid his phone of my info, and this dude done fuckeddddd up. So i pick up my phone, and using the end of it, i swiftly bring it down in a fist of fury thor punch right in his crotch. He of course, reacts violently, asking me what the fuck i did that for, etc etc, and i grab my purse, throw his keys into his lap, get out of the car and start to walk inside. He gets out, and in some sort of revenge type move, reachs out and tries to slap my ass, calling me a bitch, and a skank and all that good stuff. i lay it on him. "Listen you little sausage gurgling lame ass broke ass fuck ass fuck boy momma does your laundry no good six dollars in my bank account sleazy ass melted cookie dough tube dick looking fuck this was the worst night of my life, youre a terrible person, and a cheap ass son of a bitch, and youre disgusting, get in