3. What's the worst way you've cockblocked yourself?

What's the worst way you've cockblocked yourself?

I've told this one before, but fuck it.

Went to a party with my buddy in his 67 Nova that him and I had been building up for a few months.

We get there and I spot this cute girl, 5'2ish, solid body, and beautiful brown hair, with eyes to match. It became my fucking quest to at least talk to this girl, seeing as I was newly single after a pretty horrid relationship.

I had no intentions of drinking but somehow ended up having a drink here and there while actually managing to hit it off with this girl. Come to find out she was visiting the hostess and she was from Canada. Tonight being her last night in town. As time goes by I'm just like "Aw yis, gonna get laid tonight." But oh was I wrong.

I ended up drinking quite a bit more than I intended and got pretty smashed. Step outside to get some air and she joins. My buddy catches on to what's happening and slips a condom into my pocket on my way out. (whatabro.) She points out the Nova and asks if it's the one I'd mentioned prior, and wants to come check it out. We walk over, I pop the hood and start showing her what's going on. Explain the motor, how the nitrous works, all while leaning into the engine bay, with her beside me. I turn around to walk to the back of the car and she pushes up on me and grabs at my belt. She then whispers, "everyone else is inside," while undoing my belt.

I have no fucking clue what came over me, because sober me was all about doin' the deed with this woman. She was leaving the country, i barely knew her, it'd be a solid one night thing. But in my drunkeness, I froze up, grabbed her arms. Pulled them to her sides, inched her back a foot or so, stared at her, and fucking bolted to the house. Didn't say a fucking word. I ended up passing out. On the coffee table. She was absolutely livid and didn't say a word to me when we all went to leave. No one at that party ever let me live it down. Easily my biggest, "what the fuck was I thinking."

TL;DR: Sober me wants to bang 10/10 Canadian girl who was leaving country next day. Drunk me decided to run away and sleep on coffee table instead.

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