I can't talk about my problems properly. In the past I could articulate with pure emotion my issues and stress. Overtime however, the stress of living at home has had an unfathomable effect on my state of mind. I think that because when I would try to express how I feel and try to seek reasonable solutions to my problems I was unheard and rejected thus leading me to the person I am now; i feel alone. I don't belong anywhere and I can't speak about my problems..literally, when something bad happens, I can't seem to recollect any of i clearly. My mind has developed in a way that I forget negative encounters or things I just don't want remember in general (mainly uncomfortable predicaments/traumatic experiences) remembering all the bad as well as having the negative thoughts cloud my mind puts me in a very heavy and depressed state. I can't tell if this trait is a bad or good but I want to think that it is what has repressed the suicidal tendencies and consideration to drugs and such. The only bad thing with this, of course, is that I can't explain the problems I experience so it's hard to speak to anyone with hopes that they understand. Questions like "what's the matter?" and "what happened" leave me lost for words and confused. Depending on how long after an event happened, my response ranges from fragmented explanations with gaps to not having one. I don't take any medication and I don't smoke I find comfort in cleaning my room, training and studying, these things provide me with comfort and more importantly make feel accomplished and distracted from the unimportant things like the stress induced encounters and trivial matters.