What's your asshole neighbor story?

She would constantly call the police over parking -- and not just parking in her spot, but any park job that she felt didn't meet her standards. I went for a late-night run one night and returned to a police cruiser parked in front of my house. I sprinted home in a panic to find she'd call over an "unknown car" parked in my spot -- it belonged to a neighbor's relative, and they had our permission to park there -- and when the police came out, she locked herself in her house and refused to talk to anyone.

Unfortunately, she and her part-time live-in boyfriend were angry, abusive people -- to each other, to her kids, to anyone within earshot. On one occasion, a full-blown domestic dispute spilled into their front yard at 2AM, and another neighbor called the police on them. He took off and, once again, she refused to answer the door. Over the next few days, she stood in her backyard and loudly bitched to no one in particular that everyone was too nosy and should mind their own business. The irony that she constantly called the police over parking was utterly lost on her.

Anyway, two days after the domestic dispute, she called the police on over parking one last time: a woman was visiting a neighbor to check on her while her husband was fighting for his life in the hospital. The woman turned out to be the police captain's wife; the man in the hospital was an officer. She called the cops on the police captain's wife. Over parking.

Within a few days, they were gone. They didn't formally move out for three months -- they allowed their yard to overgrow and an armadillo moved in, and she got pissed that we called the exterminator in he absence -- but we finally got new neighbors and they are the best neighbors ever. Almost worth the year that was living nextdoor to that crazy-ass family.

/r/AskReddit Thread