I got diagnosed with autism at elementary school, so I was send to a "special" high-school filled with people with way worse conditions than me (including agression problems..very smart to mix those in with autistic people). For some reason there were only 3 or 4 girls in the entire school.
Then around the end of high-school the beginning of college I started getting depressed. I started studying aviation, everybody had high hopes because I was doing so well in school etc etc. I scored a 9/10 for math on my finals. But the big half-year vacation I got after high-school, were I hung out with some high-school "friends" really made me realize how different I was. Everybody had a girlfriend and there I was the only one without. Around this time I met the best friend I ever had, I just got to jealous and started blaming him for stupid shit so I lost him and we never speak again. I wish I could just have one oppurtinity to say I'm sorry. I once crossed paths with him at the public transport. He stared me right in the eyes and walked right passed me not even taking his headphones off.
I fucked up my aviation study because I couldn't bring myself to learn first, then I couldn't even get out of bed anymore. Severe alcoholism kicked in and for the next years it was just me, my bed, my laptop and a fuckton of beer.
I'm 23 years old now, and I haven't accomplished more than the average 16-year old. I'm back in school now, lowest tier education I could ever find. There is a lot more to how I got here but I don't want to write my entire life-story.
Anyways, kissless virgin without any friends and diploma. Currently getting a diploma for a job with the lowest wage in recorded history.
Fucked up thing is, there was this girl who I suspect liked me. We talked for hours and hours. But then one day she was suddenly a bit off and "confused" as she called it. She started a relationship with some boring ass dude who does nothing but complain and bitch about the smallest unimportant stuff but he has his own bussiness so why would she choose loser low life me over him? I'm getting the feeling this isn't the last time this will happen to me..