I can't remember exact details, thank god...

I know at one point she tried to kill me. Probably a couple times, again I don't remember. She had her hands around my neck and had a look in her eyes that meant murder.

After we broke up, I started to become better friends with her best friend. Since (I'll just refer to my ex as X and the friend as S.) X thought I had a crush on S (which didn't happen till later and struck me into a huge pit of depression, but that's a different story.), any time S and I hung out, she always thought I was dating her.

X was crazy. I made excuses to avoid her. She showed up at my house while I was away, with S at a local mall. She came there and started to go off on me, then saying "Ohhh, SORRY I interrupted your date," dripping with sarcasm.

I stated to her MANY times that I'm NOT dating her, just being a friend. "You're not that way to me as a friend!" "Because I don't want to befriend a fucking psychopath?" I think, months later. But in reality, I did try to avoid her. I didn't want to set her off on a murderous/self-destructive (She cut herself. I'm not sure if she just did it for attention.) rage by saying "I don't want to be friends with you anymore," because I knew it would cause her to cut herself, probably kill herself, and probably kill me as well.

This girl threatened suicide if we ever broke up. Later in our relationship I realized that I was afraid of her and things weren't really working out, but I tried to make it work because I didn't want her to kill herself and have that on my concsience ^{I fucked up the spelling}. She was manipulative, getting me to do (often times sexual) things I didn't want to do (I later found out I'm actually asexual. Though with how she messed with my head, I'm not even certain about that.).

Which reminds me, she's had an effect on me months later after we're over. She often accused me of doing things for show, trying to just get attention. I'm depressed and socially anxious, and had doubts I was even wanted around by people sometimes. So I would leave the group chat my friends, her, and I were in when I got feeling that way. She accused me of just doing it for attention. So I'm not even certain if my depression is real or if it's just for depression. Hell, I'm not sure about any of my feelings anymore.

At least she's moved on to her new boyfriend. (An ex of hers. Who she made out to be a drug-abusing, drinking, asshole. But he's better than I was? Yeah okay)

Sorry, I'm just ranting about things nobody wants to hear.