Not the deepest, but the one bothering me the most right now:

I'm torturing myself with a massive crush on a friend. She harmonized with me unexpectedly. I decided a while back not to ask her out. Mostly because I'm afraid she wouldn't realize I'm a terrible person going nowhere before it got too serious. Basically it occurred to me that the worst outcome I was scared of involved the relationship succeeding.

I expected us to part paths or the crush to wane, but it hasn't. I've gone on multiple dates with other people, tried to distract myself. But since I'm not in a position to remove myself from her life (it's complicated), I can't shake it. Now I feel like I am being extremely unfair to her. I've tried to maintain a platonic relationship, and I don't have the discipline to keep our relationship cold. At this point our relationship has grown, but my internal interests don't match the person she sees with me.

I'm pretty sure she suspects that I am interested in her. She has brought up the idea of people being interested in her while pretending to be her friend a couple times recently, which of course I assume is probably a hint to get an answer out of me. She hasn't asked directly yet. I don't think she is at all interested in me at this point, just afraid of me being duplicitous. Which I am.

Part of me is begging to explain that I am an asshole. To be fair to her.

The other part of me wants to continue waiting for our inevitable parting of paths. It will hurt me, but she will go on in ignorance without being hurt. Friendship ends naturally all the time. I will know I'm not a good person, but she won't be hurt with that knowledge.