1-7: happy and very self assured child
8-12: moved to a new city
slowly loses self confidence
gets neglected a lot
13: realizes that lacks beauty, insecurities are in full bloom
14-15: angry with a god complex teenager and also becoming depressed because i finally realized how neglected i was and am by my family
15-17: heavily and high functioning depressed teenager
no one find out because i didn't go all the way (wish i had now)
moves out to a new city for uni, no family
almost 18 and doing ok wow i'm kind of not so depressed anymore (this is the delusion phase)
18-19: a few mental breakdowns nothing that i can't deal with i have been through worse
almost at 20yo markup got employed for the first time as an intern, kinda shitty job, drop out in the beginning of this year because i was too overwhelmed by anxiety and depression highlighted because of the job
20-now: a series of unfortunate events happened and they keep happening and i can't get my shit together since.
i couldn't finish an extracurricular course of 2 years because i couldn't bring myself to attend the useless classes of the last semester.
managed to get a bf, healthy relationship despite everything, never had a bf before.
went through a therapist for the first time, thought now i'm going to get my shit together, didn't work out, too anxious to even make to the sessions.
i do good at uni though, it's the only thing i still care about i think, at least i'm dedicated to it.
got to talk about a group project i did at uni in a congress somewhat important to my field course at uni.
rn i can't sleep bc i'm too sad and crying a lot. my birthday is in a few days and i want to kill myself so bad. jesus this is too pathetic