When we got the news we already knew that my future mother in law died. We were picking her up to show her the venue we chose, and she was so excited the night before.

We waited outside her door for 3 hours because the apartment company refused to let us in for a wellness check (so many red flags. She always had her blinds open unless it was night. She always had music playing in her apartment. She always took her phone when she went somewhere. Dead silence in the house except for her phone ringing) and when I called the police to check, we had to wait a couple hours to get someone there, and they said after the 4th time I called that I will be arrested for BandE when I said I'm going to kick the door in if they dont get there immediately.

The next day, which was the hardest part for me, I cleaned up the blood, brain matter, the bloodied sheets and mattress, scrubbed the walls and carpet enough to let my at the time fiance and her sister in without seeing the scene.

I had to be the strong one because I knew she couldnt be. I had struggles processing emotions because I felt it wasnt my turn to, until she was better. I still never told her about what I saw when I cleaned that apartment. I never will, she never needs to know that ever her dad broke down and couldnt even be in there while we went together. I guess it was my way of helping them.

I still hold regrets like I never said that I loved her, even tho my wife says she know i did and didnt have to say it to show it. I had one mental break from it about 4 months after it happened, but we're all doing better now. This was a couple years ago.