Because of my train/metro schedule to get to my last job, I would usually arrive a half hour or early or more. I got up at an ungodly hour so I would usually take a nap, head down on my desk, before my day started.

On my way to work I would usually get some breakfast and coffee at the train station. I have IBS, and the horrible gas would usually hit me about a half hour to an hour after I finished my nap. No big deal, I'd chill in the restroom for five minutes or so and do my thing. Except one unfortunate morning.

I was asleep, dreaming of donuts, when I suddenly awoke to a creaking sound, like a door. Except my cubicle didn't have a door, and I could still feel a rumble down under. The fart wasn't over yet. I clenched in panic, causing a high-pitched squeaking noise to replace the bellows from before until it finally subsided.

Luckily the office wasn't too busy at that time of day. But the sweet old lady next to me got to work before I did, and I there's no way she didn't hear it. God knows who else might have heard it rip through the silence. I did work right next to the copy machine, after all, and everyone uses that at some point.