Whats your "Then I noped the fuck out" story? [NSFW]

I was working as an EMT and me and my partner received a late call 45 minutes away in the boonies at around midnight. 15 year old female, stomach pain. We arrive to find an unlit country road with low hanging branches. I was tasked with walking along the side of the ambulance to make sure the branches didn't rip off the tip of the rig. It was dark and the fog was up to my waist. We finally get to some derelict farm house to find a 20 something year old guy waiting for us and flags us in. We make contact with the patient and she decides she doesn't want to go. No big deal, since she's a minor we just had to receive consent from family to not transport her. I find out the guy who was with her was just some guy she knew. I tell them that we'll probably have to get the Sheriff out there to stand in as someone who could deny transport for the girl since we couldn't get in contact with her parent / guardian. The tweaked guy starts freaking out and saying that " this isn't my home" and that " I'm waiting for friends to get here ". Even with that we can't leave and abandon our patient. We calm him down and say the authorities won't need to be called and get in touch with dispatch via cell phone and explain the situation. We make it a point to tell dispatch that they're acting sketchy especially at the mention of law enforcement. So, our genius dispatcher decides to say "we 're getting the sheriff out there" over the fucking radio on my partners belt! Me and my partner look at each other with wide eyes and the tweaker guy starts freaking out again. Finally after calming him down again we get the call from dispatch that they contacted the Sheriff and that these two are well known by the authorities and to get the fuck out. So we wish them goodnight and haul ass away.

/r/AskReddit Thread