I had an internet crush named Trung, and he mentioned on social media that he hated it when people asked how to pronounce his name, because it’s intellectually lazy since you can just look it up. I had no idea how to pronounce his name, and when I looked it up I saw several different pronunciations. I asked a few mutual friends but nobody knew him irl and nobody had any idea how to pronounce his name.

Anyway, I came across him at an event and, with no way out, I decided to try a middle ground approach — make a sound that was like, between the two most common ones. I was nervous because crush, and I stuttered, so it came out “oh my god, it’s so nice to meet you, chun... chun...chong...” which... well. Yeah. Sounds really offensive. The look on his face was awful.

I stuttered my way through an apology and an explanation and he had a good laugh at my expense. Turns out it’s pronounced almost like “John”. Also we made out that weekend.