We would all love for the people that we love to treat us the way we deserve to be treated. In reality though, we are only treated how we allow someone else to treat us. A lot of people in relationships with emotionally unavailable partners try to excuse the fact that the bare minimum is being done for them.

Regularly I see comments where the AP partner is abandoning themselves and their needs to contort to their partners lack of engagement in the relationship. The only way a healthy relationship can be forged is if you AND your partner are both doing the work to correct poor behaviors in the relationship. If one person is working towards security while the other is not an imbalance will always exist and it will trigger the partner that is making strides to become emotionally healthy.

If your partner is not working with you, they are not willing to do self help, they are not willing to do therapy, or they continue with poor behaviors and makes you feel like requiring such a basic need is a problem it is time to walk away. You can't carry the emotional load of keeping this going on your own. It requires two to make the relationship successful.

It is time to put yourself first. Do not abandon your needs. Your needs matter just as much as your partner's needs.

You deserve to be loved properly.