Heya! I just wanted to chime in a little as well, because that subject is something I can actually talk about.
/u/porkytower already gave a good reply, and I guess that I wanted to add to it. I'm just going to share my own experience, know that I'm not trying to convince you of anything.
Being afraid of transition, or just of being transgender, is normal and is actually where I started as well. I always was very interested in transformation stories (specifically MTF erotica), and that interest is still with me to this day. At first, I didn't think it meant anything more than having this "weird" fantasy about gender change, but the more time passed, the more I realised that I wasn't comfortable in my body at all, and that those transformation stories somehow gave me a sort of relief to that state of distress. I was always depressed and never looked at myself in the mirror, because I hated what I saw. At some point, I came to a breaking point. I either had to do something about what I was feeling, or I was sure that I was going to die sooner or later. It was still hard to make the steps to start transitioning, for about the reasons that you mentioned earlier. I was scared of the social stigma associated with it, I was scared that I wouldn't look "normal", I didn't really want to have to take medication every day, etc. I guess that at some point, I realized that I wanted to live more than I wanted to not be trans, you know?
I started HRT in March 2015, and my life has been improving since. It's not all rainbows and butterflies yet, but it really did help tremendously with how I feet in general. Of course, I'm still scared of surgeries and how they'll turn out, but it's easier for me to live now, even with the prospect that I'll need surgeries at some point and need to take meds daily.
If you feel like you're transgender (which I'm not saying is something sure), first know that it's completely okay to also be interested in tranformation stories. There are ressources on reddit and elsewhere on the internet, if you need more information or if you just want to talk and to ask questions about what you're feeling. I can PM you some subreddits, if you want.
Wherever your introspection leads you, I wish you luck! Do what feels right for you. :)