Not just friend but friends, I was in college and I trusted these people. They were all same schedule as me and we get along together. My place was near the school so we stay there most of our lunch breaks. Then I changed because a female I liked was just using me just to know me and tell em to her friends cuz im this guy who is quiet and mysterious and i love my privacy. But these girls are smart, reliable so my friends are close with them, asking them about homeworks and ask them to teach what they dont understand. I avoid these women ( I stopped school befire college for a year not talking to anyone except my family and watched tons of animes and my emotions are easily broken for watching too much romance. Also it was my first time not being in school with my relatives. I thought to myself it was time for a new me.) Well, ofcourse being distance to gossip girls they try to ruin me. So these women tries to ruin me by telling my friends im gay ofcourse it gave me weird feeling inside, i didnt know what to do so i come and go until our prof comes( didnt come until..). So that day I got emotional they try to tease me by singing gay songs. Ofc, I felt like crying and tried to endure as much of it but I couldnt handle it. So i went to this girl in front of the room. I kinda said,"some something suicidal". She conforts me and asked why. I said, "not here." Brought her to an empty stairs rarely people come. These people who teased me including my friends followed us cuz they saw me teared and mildly sad. And heard every talk. And then ofc these people listened. I had a break for a few days them not doing what they do. I still go with my friends but when we they to 5hose girls I leave yada yda. I always talk to that girl from before to feel better( my friends noticed it). Then ome time this girl and i talked in class cuz prof was not there then these gossip girls started taking pictures. And i was like, "meh." They are trying to ruin me to that girl, that woman has a bf (side story:she waz just an errand girl for homeworks for him. Then she switched school after they broke up and he graduated.) So year later these g.girls still doing their shits and spreading more hate. I just endure everything even with friends doing their shit(still hangs with them)whenwver i cant i just dont go with them, they ask me to hang with them like sleepover i reject(cuz i wanna study and be that guy who not fails school and financial issues where hitting my mentality, stressing me out) So they found it weird. One day, they asked me to eat lunch in my place so i said yes. They asked me to leave to buy some ramen. So i did alone. I returned everything was fine. So few days they teased me anf came on and on. Then i start to to eat in my home during breaks. Cuz i live most of the time alone with my sister but shes rarely in the house at times. I always to talk to myself to keep my sanity. My head always has thoughts and ideas I didnt want to get insane. Most of the time i dissed my classmates when in my home and talk alone, i notice they become distant to me now. Then I just do what I do. I start to notice that my friends kept more close with those g.girls. and oddly they indirectly tease me abot the weird things i do. I explcitly watch random shit: cartoons, s.porn, g.porn, any porn, and animes. Everything I do in the house they tease me. One time this one friend borrowed my phone idk why and saw porn and spread it to all our regular classmates. They tease more I just thought "just coincidence". Now its getting in my nerve. So wierd its like they knwo what i do i watch. I start to do even wierder to confirm. I kinda know its true ( they doen smt in my house or my phone). Then i thought to myself,"I can take advantage of this" like doing experiment of what their reaction cuz i was in college for bs-psychology (in truth, i really want to have a reason tp let them do these because i didnt know how to handle it. I lie to myself like redirecting their bullying and those isolates to befriended by them cuz i mentioned in my home that" i will gather all the loners and be their friend and well it worked too". I was glad. 1st year 1st sem ended went to where my parents' place but this was just starting. They knew about the porn i watched from that my parents' home using my phone. Regardless of knowing why they know what i do, I still cry in my home cuz in my head this is just paranoia. The tease became different now just bout sadness. I basically became an isolate i had no one to turn to even the girl from before. I didnt want her to get involved. I actually turned out i like that girl but she was already takenby my friend. Im pretty sure i talk bout it in my home, how beautiful, smart she was and how she looked a celebrity in a morning newschannel. Anyways, I had attempted suicides but afraid ofc. I endure everything til i reached 3rd year and first semestr and my friendss invited me to drink with them. I agreed cuz they rarely tease after summer break and i though this is a turning point. And also i had new phone, first one broke during summer. So i joined them and told a guy about something sensitive i dont even have the guts to tell it here. So he spreads it and the teasing returns. I just act in school it doesnt affect me. During P.E, a friend asked if he can take my phone if he likes any other songs i have cuz i was playing song so i could hang and i let him for a quite long time around 5mins or so. They still tease me regardless. Everything was filing up. Sooner or later I kinda got scared asked a prof to talk to and she was the dean. And talked i n private. And one student saw enter with dean and talk to my other classmates possibly or the dean told them too. I just told the dean about them teasing me gay and mention that girl before helped a lot and im abit suicidal without telling the dean bout the thing they have done. So a day after that girl from before was nice to me and talks to me weirdly ( this is i concluded the dean told em and i actually saw my classmate talk to other classmates). It was a happy moment but they still tease bout my porn i recently visited and other weird shit( I just ignored them regardless and it still hurts.) I dont care anynore i just wanna finish college. The girl asked me to join nearing event and rejected. I had an idea, with the use of a girl from before cuz she was in a relationship with one of my friend soo she was dm-ing me in my home at night. I starts to masturbate and next day it was our first class.vthe girl ignored me and so is the guy and even hit my knees with his' acting like it didnt happen when he was trying to go through my chair to his. Now i conclude there are hidden cams in my house. More tease, i isolate myself. I talked bout " 1 and 1/2 years left and im done." They teased me bout that too." I just kept enduring em regardless til end of semester, finished every rewuirement but sadly i didnt pay the tuition didnt took finals exam. So failed em. I went to my parents home for the school break. So i had enough time to get my knowlwdge gathered and how to deal with it and ended up just playing game cuz i panicked i dont know what to do. I told myslef, i cant do this anymore, i said to my parents, "registration is still few more days " til my sis knew i was lying and then i told em that i cant handle school anymore cuz we cant pay but in truth i just cant handle the things in my head anymore like i became somekind of inhumane. Thats it. I didnt open facebook and etc. Became stuck in my computer without a care. And knowing all my classmates were part of it and not a single soul helped. And i m pretty sure whole uni and another uni knows it cuz i told my friends i know people there and talked bout that uni in my home too and my relations there. They prolly stream it. ( why i assume that even another uni knows? Because i go to this internet cafe near that uni. Students in that cafe knows me, points at me and suddenly no porn sites allowed in that cafe and thats after few weeks i mentioned about that uni. I nver planned to watch there anyways. And i know this phone is still bugged and i dont care anymore. Everyday i want to kill myself and if failed, i just think of killing them all in the future. Paranoia still hits me hard even this day even knowing the fact it wasnt a paranoia and im telling you even my relatives i start to think they know. Im just afraid of befriending anyone anymore. Im pretty sure they see this too as soon as i post it. I became to hate any fucking humans in the world including myself. But thanks to reddit #humansbeingbro makes me smile and positive atleast. Another fact, one time i saw this ceiling square thingy opened even though that was always been closed and that was during 2nd year 1st sem(One of the reason to my conclusion something happened in my house). Another fact they also know where i hid our house keys and im dumb enough to trust em this was during 1st year 1st sem they already knew. Btw sorry my english is a bit wweirdly written cuz this is rushed.