Never, really. I always got to be proud of what I did at work, sports and hobbies, but I've always felt apart from other people, had trouble making friends and mingling with them. I never had a girlfriend, at an age when my friends are getting married and having children, they live a life I can't picture. I feel remote from other people.

I thought I would grow, become less "weird" with time and understand things better with time.

I'm 35 now, I learn and improve, but the growth part won't happen. I'm weird, have more meories with books and movies than people, and that's okay.

I'm proud of the things I can do and achieved, like where I am and who I am, but I don't think I ever felt like a man.