When did you know that your relationship with your partner was over, besides the actual break up itself? Were there signs? Did you start to feel differently?

I no longer saw my ex as someone I genuinely enjoyed spending time with; time with him was more of an obligation than something I looked forward to. Since seeing him had become part of my routine, it was like I was too comfortable to break up with him; I guess I subconsciously thought it was easier to learn to forgive him and look past the fact we were incompatible than dump him, which wasn't fair to either of us.

I was in denial of the fact I was over him for a good while until I spoke to one of my friends about my frustrations with him. My friend made me realize I didn't have feeling for him anymore because I almost never talked about him, and when I did it was because it was about something he did that irritated me.

I put up with a LOT of shit from him like cheating/flirting with other girls, clinginess, paranoia, jealousy, gas lighting, manipulation, selfishness/putting himself above us, immaturity, etc. I thought I had forgiven him and looked past all the bullshit he did over the time we were together, but the fact I wasn't even proud to be with him and just avoided talking about him said enough to me about my feelings for him and made me realize I was just...done. And I was done for a long time.

I did have a "last straw" of sorts that put things in perspective for me, but it wasn't the reason I dumped him. There are a plethora of reasons why I dumped him and I realized without a doubt we just plain don't belong together. Deep down I always knew. I should have been honest with myself sooner and bit the bullet to save us both from staying any longer in a situation that wasn't fair to either of us. I was selfishly scared of the change and believed in what I now know to be the sunken cost fallacy.

I learned that when it doesn't feel right, I have to come up with excuses to justify being with someone that's wrong for me, and I'm more frustrated when I think of my significant other than happy then it's time for me to reevaluate the relationship and cut the cord if things don't improve.

Sorry for the novel. I hope this helps someone that's too scared to end a sour relationship.

/r/AskWomen Thread