When his sponsors wife calls you...

I have been sober a really long time, and I have a lot of heart-breaking stories to share about things that have happened to me in sobriety. I can say that, at times, I am consumed with anger and fear. I am culturally and genetically wired to see the faults in others. I give and I expect simple things like friendship and respect in return. Over time, this has made me bitter. I just need you to do x so that I can be happy.

The most honest thing I can share is that I struggle the most with the feeling that the world is abundant and with trusting in God. I can tell you I am learning more about these two things every day, and it has made my life happier. I don't know how I stayed sober this long being so bitter. If I got a call from a sponsor's wife, just to find out that I'm being judged by a gossipy cabal of award-winning drunks, and that the consensus is my SO is the victim after years of abuse at his hands, I would probably fly off the handle.

But this is the obstacle I've always faced. I have to admit to some degree that not all my needs will be met by other people, that people do not always share the same opinions, and also that I am not totally well myself, and that I have work and self-care to do. Getting into the rhythm of taking some actions. This is a really devastating disease and it doesn't really care how long ago my last sip was.

Maybe the right thing to do is leave. Maybe the right thing is to stay. Usually the answer is something else. What I do know for certain is that I am beyond human aid, and that to a significant degree these circumstances do not matter. Reclaiming that feeling of abudance, that feeling that I am being taken care of by my Higher Power no matter what, has been the greatest challenge, and one could say the greatest thing that alcoholism took away from me.

/r/AlAnon Thread