It was a couple of days ago. No particular reason really. I just find that crying can sometimes help settle me down on days where I am feeling particularly dark.

I feel that I have been on a mental and emotional (and to a lesser extent, physical) decline over the past two years or so. The past month has been quite difficult as I have spent the majority of my free time (and I have a lot of it) simply laying on the couch; either listening to music or just daydreaming, nothing else.

It was during one of these slumps, laying on the couch, where I began to cry. I don't remember what exactly triggered it, I think it was thinking of my grandfather passing away in the future and the fact that I have forgotten my native language through my process of Americanization and the fact that he does not speak English.

Then others came in to play as well. The fact that I feel that my future is bleak. Envy towards others for surpassing me in most aspects of life. Just a nice mix of sadness, envy, anger, hatred, and fear.

I feel that ever since I took LSD a few weeks ago, my state has become much worse.