When was the last time you cried, and why?

Trigger warning: sexual assault.

On Saturday. A few months ago, a repressed memory of being raped at 16 surfaced. I hadn't told anyone until speaking to a therapist on Wednesday. On Saturday I think I finally let myself grieve a little.

I always thought repressed memories were a little dubious. There have certainly been cases of inaccurate 'repressed memories' being retrieved, particularly in the 80s. Also, our memories are not as good as we think (source: am studying psychology).

I uncovered it quite by accident. Over a period of a few months last year, I developed a guided meditation to help heal some other things that I was dealing with. The visualisation invoked imagining a mangrove swamp, where the tide receded and left mud behind. I my mind, I would shine light into the darkness, picturing new growth where there was previously muck. I imagined the salt water coming back in, allowing the pain to be healed. Not washing it away, but integrating it and allowing it to become rich soil in which new life could grow.

Then, out of the blue, standing in the sunshine after meditating for an hour or so (I was funeployed at the time), there it was. Something I had buried at the age of 16.

So, yeah. Saturday.

/r/AskReddit Thread