My dad hasn't been doing very well lately - he's 68 and diabetic and has terrible back problems. He ended up in the hospital a couple weeks ago with blood pressure of like 250 over 180. Now with the new meds he's lightheaded. He's recently often not felt well/been able to eat. He's got a dr.'s appt and a stress test on Tuesday, i'm hoping that he'll be able to get his back fixed via surgery...but i'm so not sure.

I'm more afraid than I have been in my entire life that i'm going to go downstairs to say good morning and he's just going to be gone. I'm 24, if I lose my dad, I lose my home, my sister i'm certain will try to make me miserable and grab as much as she can, and i'll have to get rid of some of my cats who were all born here, probably including his two best friends in the world. He's my best friend.

Tonight it just all sorta got to me. I feel like i'm in mourning already, it's all killing me because of my anxiety and depression, but for all I know he could live another 5 years. I just have no idea and can't talk to him about it.