When I hear that, I think back to times I had things thrown at me, was held down against my will, had a hand over my mouth so I couldn't scream, had my path blocked to intimidate and trap me in a corner, had my phone grabbed from me so I couldn't call for help, had a guy suddenly get really close to my face and growl to scare me, was subbdued from behind and passed out momentarily, had another part of a man's body (like the side of an arm) accidentally come in hard contact with my face, got shoved across a room or against a wall, got dragged out of bed onto the floor by my legs, etc.. you get the idea. These are some examples in my opinion of times it was necessary for me to fight my way out of an abusive situation even though I hadn't technically been hit first. I'm sure people have their own legit stories to present the other side, and I know there are plenty of men who are abused by women. In my experience, it was very confusing for me when they said since I hit them first and they did not technically hit me it wasn't abuse. It took me awhile to learn there are other forms of abuse besides punching and kicking. So when I hear statements like that, it's just a red flag for me personally.