The way I look at it is you could interpret charitably and playfully flirt with her. Or you can take it as a major insult and completely own her. Which is more in line with op goals?

Idk, I have enough self-respect a playful dig doesn't bother me and I can make a funny joke instead of getting seemingly upset and responding with a sloppy 'you ugly" response. The funny thing is I think your make up joke is more on par than you ugly (assuming it's true). A little harsh for my personal style, but definitely much in range of what is a tit for tat.

But if that style of flirting is a bit too harsh for you, It's better to something "crazy" like just tell them to stop It because that's not your style. Best case, they didn't mean to be so insulting and are interested enough to dial it back. Worst case you unmatch them if they don't listen. Regardless, being open about what you want and/or if a insult goes too far is a much better look than getting insecure about your looks and lashing out.

Also, I have no idea what this has to do with gender. I'd have the same response if op was messaging guy. Regardless of what your gender is, straight-up calling someone ugly is bad flirting.