He was extremely kinky with an emphasis on the S in BDSM. I’m basically the opposite of that. I describe it like this: in bed he’s like some seductive vampire who wants long, dramatic, uninterrupted sexual encounters with lots of biting and blood. I’m like the Keebler elf who wants to stop halfway through for a cookie break.

We tried to make it work but it just didn’t. I tried things he asked me to try and hated every second of it. He tried vanilla sex and got bored and couldn’t finish. Finally we parted ways and it was such a relief.

Last I heard he’s now in a relationship with a woman who enjoys the pain that he likes to deliver. I still don’t understand the desire but I’m happy that he’s found someone who wants the same things he does.