My very first relationship was with a guy for about 8 years.

I think in a way everything backfired because he was very lazy and immature. I was constantly initiating and trying to get us to explore with new positions or kinks etc, it was so frustrating and painful because all he wanted to do was pump and dump.

I always had the urge to be dominated, but he never even tried. I remember once I asked him to “have his way with me” while I slept, I wanted to be woken up by him “using” my body. But he never did, so I compromised and suggested role play instead, I would just be pretending to sleep, I even removed all my clothing and laid on top of the covers so it would be less effort for him.

He walked up to my naked body and said something really weird like “oh she’s sleeping” and then proceeded to kneed my body as if it was dough in random places really fast and saying “mmmm yeah” in a really low, animated, weird voice. He kept doing that until I stopped him.

Nothing about it was genuine, fun, or sexy. It totally killed the mood.

I’m with someone now that wants to explore as much as possible, we are both willing to fulfil each other’s desires and kinks even if it means we are pushing each other’s boundaries, without any pressure or course, it’s amazing, sex has never been better and I’ve discovered new desires that I never knew I had.