I was in love with being in love, not in love with him. Scared of breaking up because I didn't want to be alone, so I stayed in a borderline toxic relationship for 2 years. I needed his approval of everything, I was scared not to turn out stupid in front of him and his friends because many times he reminded me how he is "a better and smarter person, and way out of my league". Every thought and decision I would make, I'd question and ask for his opinion. This crushed my confidence so hard I would hang out only with him and nobody else. I was getting socially anxious and even stuttered every now and then. There is so much more to this relationship, both positive and negative, but what I mentioned so far is what got to me the most.

As soon as I was away from him for a longer time, I realised how free I feel when not around him and changed a lot as a person in only a few weeks. Now he is crying and begging me to take him back, but I don't regret my decision at all. It's time to date myself for now and get back on track.