I have been trying to find it out soo many times (with the help of reddit) and get this question a lot. I think i might have had a fear to let people in but i do think i am ready now but somehow the outcome doesn’t change at all. And i don’t know what to change? I might still am very reserved when it comes to letting people in and am distant. But i just need time.

So i don’t know if i am not ready deep down? I do want a relationship. What else should i change? How do i get to the root of these issues?

And the guys don’t have anything in common at all at first like they’re truly different people. but the more i get to know them the more similar traits they have. Saying the same things (that they’re emotionless). Even having the same hobbies even though they’re so different which is uncanny (Boxing).

No i didn’t assume it. they tell me that they don’t want to (or want but are unable to) commit.

I already try to pick different guys, i don’t have a type and always go for very different types. They end up being exactly the same and extremely cold which is so uncanny. What do i do wrong? How should i work on myself if i cannot figure it out what‘s wrong in the first place? I probably pick more distant guys at first because i need time and get overwhelmed easily when someone shows too much too early. I dated a guy before who seemed very nice and not at all distant but i ended up not feeling attracted to him at all physically and on top of that i got paranoid how he seemed to be so obsessed with me. I need help:(