So when your abusive parents refuse to admit they did you wrong, is it because they can’t feel they did you wrong, or that they are just too afraid to admit wrong doing?

My edad said similar things, "that's just how she is" or "she gets stressed". He's trying to make it so you stop rocking the boat, because he's only known a life in a boat captained by your mom. He doesn't realize there is a healthier way of being a family, that there is another boat, and that boat that you're on is a boundary you established that you want to be respected and treated without abusive manipulation.

I think on some level, the nparent will spin a story about how you are a rebellious kid or you have mental health problems because of how you reveal their true nature. They dislike acknowkedging their own mistakes and their abusive behaviours, so they have to think of you in an opposing position and thus re-establish to themselves and to their enablers that they are right and you are wrong no matter what. And then i think they start to believe their own story about you, but now they are acutely aware that you are trying to get out from underneath their control. When this was happening to me, i noticed my nmom would still try to hide her manipulative actions from me edad, in order to keep up the idea that she is innocent, but her actions became more explosive and cruel, she was angrier.

I dont know if they do this all consciously. I just know that she thinks she is right in doing it. But they never see you as others do, such as how friendly you can be. to them you are still a kid and they know best and they have a right to hurt you. They cant see you as an equal or worthy of healthy treatment because they dont even realize it's a possibility, they only know their own boat.

/r/raisedbynarcissists Thread