In June I moved from Illinois to Georgia. My job that I had been at for 11 years offered a buyout and I took it and took a chance to go live with a group of friends I had met through PlayStation. The home life there was great at first but it quickly became much less than that. And that’s not something I will ever BLAME anyone, me or them, for. Sometimes things just don’t work out or aren’t a good fit.
But to the actual question asked here...I’m still to this day not exactly sure what and to what severity happened to me...maybe it was nothing, who knows...
My new Georgia home life wasn’t good, my new Georgia work life wasn’t good (I was actually fortunate enough to find a job relatively quickly but it was the same line of work I’d done before with the same bullshit that can come with it and it was like “I moved 800 miles for this?”) and stuff was happening back in Illinois that I could only be told about. I was no longer there to do anything about it.
Well one night at work, as a forklift driver, a job I’m fairly convinced I could do perfectly under a variety of circumstances, I just had a lot of pain hit me just right now. Had barely even started the shift. It was all over, couldn’t pinpoint an origin spot. Then a lot of getting instantly hot then instantly cold. Then, my breaking point because I take pride in my work, I blacked out while bringing a pallet down from up in the air. That’s when I left work and made what felt like a very long drive back home.
I get back home and have a very interesting few days. Again, I will never blame anyone down there for anything, and I certainly won’t ask anyone to stop having fun or anything like that just because I’m sick.
However....two nights in a row, I get so cold in my room, after having done the hot/cold cycle all day long, I make it to the bathroom and look in the mirror and see that I legit was blue. I look around for anyone, I’m not even sure what if anything they could’ve done but it would’ve just been nice if someone had been there. Nope. The people who lived there plus people who came over quite often were all out playing fucking Pokémon Go. So one night I fell to the floor in the bathroom and yet still made it back to my room before they got back and the second night I became enraged, I think a mixture of no one being around and me wondering if I’m dying, and willed myself back to my room and then fell to the floor.
That’s when I decided to come back home to Illinois in late October. Now, I’m by myself at home. Though back to the same-ish driving distance to my family that I was before. But if I die just in my sleep one night and I was already living by myself, that’s one thing. But to be surrounded by people and feel like you’re still all alone, that’s another.
I still don’t know what exactly happened to me, if it was ever actually serious at all. Or if it was all maybe stress induced. What I do know is that I’ve been fine ever since but man, that was a very weird and kinda scary few days.