Where are all the MRAs?

I also haven't heard any feminists defend the child custody bias as anything but an unfortunate artifact of current gender expectations.

Yet the Tender Years Doctrine, which was de jure and now de facto what happens in custody decisions, came to be in the 1800s, after a feminist woman demanded it. Previous to that, the father would get custody, because he had the income. It seems in high-income households, the childminding was done by house staff anyways. Not like mothers had to do more than breastfeeding (some hired wet nurses even) if they were rich enough.

It just seems to me that most MR issues mirror the grievances of feminism in many ways. A lot of it is, "They get all this help that both of us need," to the point where they're "in the way". Women are getting special privileges and attention, and it's kind of a novel thing for society. I can see why someone would be jaded with feminism due to this exclusivity.

It also has to do with how feminism painted the issues. DV was something men did to women to keep them in their place and control them, not something fairly mutual and equal that happens in high-stress, alcohol or mental illness situations.

Rape was also treated as something men do to women to oppress them, and not as something which can happen to all groups by all groups members (which is closer to the truth than the narrative that was invented).

Worse, feminism is the ideology of those (who aren't the majority of feminists but who have the power politically to represent feminists) who generally those who work against recognizing male victims in the provision of services by government. I can't count the number of times I've been told "want to help men, build the shelter yourself, the ones that exist were built by women for women" even though it was by using government money (from that evil majority-male government), which they want to deny to the male victims. And the government listens to those feminists (and not the other more egalitarian feminists), since you won't see many shelters for male DV or rape victims, or the more reasonable co-ed shelters (it could involve single-sex bedrooms, or single occupancy bedrooms).

/r/FeMRADebates Thread