God speed.

My high school sweetheart died. I feel her presence with me nearly every single day. We are and will always be connected. I am never alone.

But before this breakthrough, I was very suicidal too. Since the breakthrough, things have gotten worse (in the physical world) but immensely better in my personal world.

I discovered this was not my first lifetime, that I've been male and female and black and even lived on another planet once, and that I have committed suicide multiple times. (Drowning is apparently my favorite way to go) when I was a woman, I was a figure skater.

Guess what? I'm still here. I was never any of those bodies, and so destroying a body doesn't actually kill you. It just destroys a body. It's like a kid throwing a tantrum and destroying a doll.

It sounds depressing, like death isn't even an escape! But realizing this also opened up the door to another possibility, that since I am not a body, I am with everyone. I am never alone. You will never really be separate from your grandfather.

And the one who, in this lifetime was my high school sweetheart has been with me lifetime, after lifetime, after lifetime. She has no body now, and we are closer than ever. I am very grateful.

Don't look in bars. I did that. There's nothing more lonely than sitting in a bar, hoping a female will enter the room and acknowledge you and yet, if you were to approach them, you are instantly a creeper.

THAT is loneliness!