Growing up I had one parent who was very abusive, and another parent who only disciplined, never abused. The abusive parent was sporadic, I never knew what would set them off. There was no consistent rules. I always walked on eggshells around them. They emotionally broke me down from the age of 4. By age 9 I had a severe ED and extreme depression and mental health issues. They made my life absolute hell. And my other parent’s live hell too. When my other parent would go on business trips, this parent was extremely neglectful. I was cooking for my siblings on a step stool because I couldn’t reach the stove. Then I would get abused for doing so. I have no respect for this parent. I doubt I will maintain contact later on in life. My other parent is an absolute angel. They loved me no matter what I did. There was very clear rules that I rarely crossed. If I did break those rules, the punishment was proportional to what I did. All my disciplines from this parent seemed fair, and often I agreed with them. I love this parent. My relationship with them is amazing.

What it comes down to is respect. Respect your child. Love them. Discipline is necessary for children, but do it with kindness.