My best AP is my current AP and I definitely think he falls into the has “exhausted their efforts to improve their marriage/given up/moved on” category. I know he loves his wife and always will but she doesn’t care about him or give him even a smidge of what he wants and needs. She completely neglects him and takes him for granted. It’s infuriating. We’ve been together almost 4 years and prior to that, my longest affair was 9 months. He was great, too, there just wasn’t enough for me. I needed more than just sex.

These relationships are complicated and so finding someone on the same page as you is paramount. Drama-free is an absolute must for me. And the APs I’ve had who are rational and level headed are the best. The ones who are hot heads or make a big deal out of everything resulted in affairs that ended badly or quickly because I got out fast. I’m better at spotting those types of men sooner now, and I avoid them like the plague.