I wish this could be the case, but even at almost 40, if he ignores his mom's texts and communication, his dad will text him and tell him to talk to his mom.

He had a very fucked up childhood. His parents were alcoholics, his dad was verbally and maybe physically abusive toward him which has resulted in him having terrible self esteem (he attempted suicide in high school). He can't stand up to his parents, meaning he can't tell them no, and they've (at least his mother) has made it very clear that he should be grateful for what they gave to him and that he isn't a very good son if he doesn't take care of them when they are older.

I wish we could go no contact, but to be honest that wouldn't even register with them. When we moved from our old state, and we had our house on the market, he stopped returning their calls, etc and they started showing up at our house without telling us they were coming over. I see all this shit happening if they move to our current state, and it gives me anxiety. I've even told him how I feel, but he cannot for some reason admit that he might feel the same way.

It's like his whole family was brought up to think that men shouldn't have feelings, other than anger, and if they do they're not allowed to talk about them. He won't talk about finances, because his mom spent his childhood complaining about having no money, etc. and bitching about it. She's been on disability for the past six or seven years, and I constantly had to hear her talk about being broke yet she had her shopping sprees to LuLu Lemon and her weekly manicures. Again, who knows if they are actually broke, perhaps she just wants sympathy from everyone and anyone. She once told me that it's her parents fault for only having one child and giving her the best of everything - she can't have inferior things (these are her words!).

So yeah, I wish we could go no contact, but his parents are going to do what they want, and to his mom, that means being by her first born and only son.