who has an nmom and is not excited for mothers day.

Why she gotta play you like that? Don't feel guilty. Don't feel sucker punched. It's not that nmom doesn't know you or want to know you. It's that it's all about her and that's all that matters. It sucks to realize.

You can just go out for lunch together. I'm cutting nmom off slowly in regards to this bullshit. She has taken so much advantage of me and used me to profit. (Making me get a job as a teen and pay for my own shit. Stealing money from my dad for me. Stealing my tax slips and claiming it with gets to get more money. ) I've been cutting back more and more through the last couple years but so has she. I'm at the point where I don't even want to go out of my way to get cards because they don't mean anything to her (they're so important to me as I LOVE the sentiment behind a card and she'll purposely not get me one.)

You're the child. She's the parent. It's not up to you to reciprocate gifts. It is so stressful though. Having that mini freak out. Gift giving is genuinely a soft spot for me. I'm not thoughtful enough (or so I think. Because hubby and ILs love and appreciate everything I do for them even if it's just me showing up to something!) so much anxiety. It enjoying slowly taking out that anxiety of gift giving where nmom is concerned.

I would never expect my daughter to gift me anything?? That's such an odd expectation. And if she did, anything she got me or did for me would be sufficient enough. It's my job to do those things for her. All while loving her, not putting expectations on her (except the fact that I just want her to be a decent, Humble human!) and always being there for her. Hoping I can give this tiny human something a little more normal.

/r/raisedbynarcissists Thread Parent