Who has to deal with my [19F] boyfriend's [21 M, 8 months] mother [early 50s? F]?

Ouch, okay, I guess that's fair.

To respond to some of the things that you have said:

I don't think it's unreasonable that she's only paying for four years of college. If I can make any edits to clear that up, please let me know! But I was upset that she used the financial aspect of everything to try to suggest maybe it wasn't a good idea for him to go, after everything was all set up for him to go. If she had mentioned it before he'd been accepted and missed the registration dates for classes in his school, that would have been one thing, but she was asking him if he was sure this was a good idea after it was more or less set that he was going and would be incredibly difficult for him to change the plans. That's what made me mad.

About the FB thing, I wasn't upset that she invited me, even though I thought it was strange (but that's just because my mom would never do that; I'll admit it caught me off guard). I did think her comment was inappropriate, though. I guess there is a chance that she thought the status was about how sad I was I didn't get to see my mother, but the 'sad I didn't get to see her' part was a small portion of an otherwise large status talking about how much I appreciate and love my mother. It would have been one thing, to me, if she posted a part about 'wish yr_not_my_mom could have been with us today' in her many photos of the event she posted, or posted something separately on my wall, but she commented that on my status about my mother.

I guess, to sum it all up, lots of things about Caroline's behavior make it seem like she is very self-centered, and maybe now I'm biased to interpret her behavior that way. Plus, she didn't make a very good first impression on me at all, so maybe that's stuck with me in a way that isn't so great. Frank's family and my family operate very differently, so I'm very used to thinking that families operate this one certain way. Maybe this is totally normal family behavior. I'll try to be more open minded and not let my discomfort cloud my vision. Thanks for your perspective (:

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