I was friends with a kid when we were younger , his name was Ben. He was a weird guy, but a nice dude. In elementary school his mom would baby sit me and we were good friends. I vividly remember going in his backyard and lighting action figures on fire with gasoline. Fast forward to high school - I was somewhat friends with the people he associated with which were the outcasts. I was kind of that way too only because I smoked weed, played music, and took drugs. We didn't really talk much though, even though I played in a band with his older brother. He was the kid who passed out fliers of our principle with big X's through the eyes and it said something like facist. It was actually a pretty ballsy thing to do and everyone had a good laugh (minus the administration). Anyway, one fall day my friend and I went to a October fest in our hometown and he is there with he good friends. I said "hey Ben! What's goin on?" ( hadn't talked to him directly in years but I was a little drunk so I was feeling social). He said "what do you want dude. " very mean-like. Apparently I was mean to Him in elementary school and made fun of him a little and he never forgave me for it. I thought that was bullshit because i was so young. You can't judge someone for being a dumb kid. Anyway that's the last conversation I had with him because that night he hung himself in his closet. I felt really bad because I felt like I was part of the reason, maybe. He was picked on as a kid... But had a bunch of friends in high school. But he was also kind of a tortured soul. He saw the world as an evil place and opted out. My band played a benefit show in his name with other people he knew but I did feel weird being there. I wanted to pay my respects even though I didn't like me at all. It was just kind of a devastating thing- one day you are there. The next, you're not.