Who is having a rough Tuesday morning and needs a compliment?

I thought about killing myself this morning, for the first time in 3 weeks. I texted my ex and asked if I could come see my son and celebrate his birthday with them because we live in different states. She replied with she did mind and that we had already agreed to alternate his birthdays, then back tracked and realized I was asking to visit and go see him on his birthday. Then she asks about child support, and it always rubbed me wrong that she got to keep our son and get money when I provided for four years. I had asked previously if I could get our son since daycare was a thing he has to go now. She said no, because he’s been with her most of his life. I held my tongue, because she’s right. But today I had to call her and get it off my chest, it wasn’t fair that I was deploying and going to the field that I couldn’t be around our son. No matter how bad it got it didn’t excuse the fact that she was reaching out to an old thing. Which fueled the fire to us separating and getting our divorce now. For the first time in yeeeears, she fucking just listened and didn’t make excuses or victimize herself. I just felt overwhelmed, I’m going through a divorce and don’t get to see my 3 year old son nearly as much as I want to. I have to spend over a grand just to see him ever 3-4 months. I have to spend a grand I don’t have. I’m about to be 25 and I’m about 13k in credit card debt. Living at home with my family. Going to school with the gi bill. I feel like a failure because I used to be a provider but now it’s an accomplishment just to get out of bed sometimes. I didn’t believe in depression but the past year I’ve learned it’s a very real illness. I recently started anti depressants I’ve been on bupropion for almost a month now. I have an appointment today with a psychiatrist today at the va. Sometimes things just feel too heavy at the moment, but the moment passes.

Thanks for making this thread stranger, this was nice to let out.

/r/AskReddit Thread