I totally feel for you. I had something sort of similar happen to me and it still haunts me to this day. In 11th grade I dated this perfect guy. We just meshed super well, agreed on everything, were devoted double reed players in band. He was so selfless, giving and just wise beyond his years.

He went away for the summer for a church performance, while he was gone a lot of mental health issues starting colliding for me. Between hormones from starting birth control for the first time, dealing with abusive parents and depression, I went crazy and said crazy things to him in letters I sent him. I honestly don't even remember what, but he dumped me, rightfully so.

I know it's stupid to think of him as the one who got away, because who knows what he's like as an adult, but I so regret what happened and wish he understood what was happening to me. I hope he forgives my behavior. I treasured every second we spent together and I hope that wasn't tainted for him. I wish we had met later in life when I had my shit better figured out.