So, I was six years old and playing hide and seek with my older sister. I run in my mum's room and hide under her bed. I must have been in there for a while and I was starting to get bored, just as I am about to crawl out and hide somewhere else my mum and her boyfriend enter the room. I think this is excellent because I am hiding SO well even they don't know I'm there and I am directly underneath them, hilarious! Still, time goes on and I am still hiding. I definitely decide I have had enough now and being army crawling out from under the bed to leave the room. I get about halfway out and mum and mum's boyfriend are freaked that I was there the entire time, I think it is hilarious and run away. Naturally, I find my sister watching TV who had gave up looking for me long ago.

This incident is brought up several times throughout my childhood. "Do you remember that time you hid under the bed? Oh that was so embarrassing that we didn't know you were there!".. excellent, I have caused such an impact from my excellent sneaking skills. Yeah. You already know where this is going.

Last week, it was brought up again and my mum asked me not to mention it in front of her boyfriend again because he gets so embarrassed. I laughed and asked her why, it's just funny. Oh no. No no. Mum informs me that, whilst I was having the time of my life hiding under the bed, my mum and her boyfriend were having sex on top of said bed.

For eighteen years I lived a lie.. a very innocent, naïve lie. I am never playing hide and seek again.