This is going to be pretty far down on the list of answers, but I kind of just need to rant about this person right now because I'm pissed off at her again after reading this question.

Back in 2013, when I started graduate school, I got my first apartment. Moved in as a fourth roommate three guys who knew each other, one of whom I had to share a bathroom with. In the interests of hiding his identity somewhat, I'm going to refer to him as Carl. Carl was an ex-fraternity member (he had stopped paying his dues) and had somehow gotten into my college as a transfer from a college downstate. He was an alcoholic and amphetamine addict who would sit up drunk until 3 a.m. on weekdays and literally howl occasionally, but this isn't a story about Carl. No, this is a story about his girlfriend.

Without asking, he decided to move her into his room. Carl's girlfriend, who I will call Jade, was the most disgusting human being that I've ever met. She didn't really drink much or do drugs like her boyfriend, but she was otherwise identical to him. She refused to clean the bathroom, leaving hair in the sink, shit stains in the toilet, and once, a bloody tampon in the shower. No one except for him wanted her there.

The two would have loud sex in the shower on an almost daily basis. Loud, awkward sex that involved phrases like, "Carl, stop pinching me, it's not funny," and, "I think I earned my redwings, oh fuck". Our other roommates talked to him about her several times, but couldn't seem to get rid of her for some reason. She brought her dog on one occasion after I moved out for the summer and apparently kept it in my mostly empty room, where it urinated on the books that I had left behind.

Carl got kicked out at the end of the year, mostly for her behavior. I'm not sure where either of them is now, but they were made for each other. I wish them the best luck the rest of their days, and pray earnestly that they will never have children.