I've wrote about him before, it's a dude I work with. The overwhelming consensus the last time I wrote about him was "Yep, autism" so I feel sort of bad, but he is way the fuck out there.

Pants are consistently several inches too short. I've seen him cross his legs and almost show knee.

Legs covered in scabs that he itches at constantly, often while rocking back and forth.

If he burps or sneezes at his desk he says excuse me, but rips huge ass regularly without saying anything.

He told me his dream was to live in a trailer park someday. He told me this because I had just bought a house and he thought that sounded pricey. We have the same job and we're office workers. I don't know.

He tells long, meandering stories that often barely connect to what people were talking about. And he'll ask insanely monotonous lead in questions like "Hey you know how when you leave work, how a lot of other people are going home and so there is traffic? Yeah well sometimes to save on gas I just turn the engine off and sit there, or sometimes I will make a phone call to pass the time, you know like on my cell phone."

He is 40 years old and I had to explain to him what a burrito is.

He drives an hour in to work on a toll road but doesn't have a speed pass "because they're too expensive." (Spoiler alert: they are free.)

I often walk by him on the way to my desk and he is just staring at Outlook or something and smiling like an idiot. Not typing or anything, just grinning and looking at the screen.

On the other hand, 4-5 times a year he goes totally off the rails and yells about something, often because of some sort of routine change. When they stopped supporting IE 7 he was distraught for weeks.

He took a weight watches class at work and lost a ton of weight because he found out you're not supposed to eat a pint of ice cream for dinner every day. No sarcasm, he was unaware.

He's straight up a character out of office space. I am convinced he is from another planet.