WIBTA for putting my stepson up for adoption after his mother passed?

This is great advice. My brother, who is now 31, has been living in a group home since he was 14 years old. Neither of my parents could manage his care, because he had developmental disabilities and behavioral issues. Now the state is his guardian. We talk on the phone every week and I take him to do things here and there. I bring him to all of the family birthday and holiday events. It works for our family, because quite frankly, we don't have the means and resources to take care of him on our own. He is a large dude who can be triggered into destructive and dangerous behavior without notice, and the people who work at the group home are trained for those situations.

I remember having to call the police on him when I was 13 and he was 14 (this was right before my parents got him into a group home). My mom was at work (parents divorced), and I had to watch him and our two year old little brother. My brother was triggered into a rage, and he started destroying the house. I was a petite teenage girl half of his size, and I couldn't calm him down. He picked up our tv, which was one of those old box tvs, and threw it across the living room. It missed my little brother's head by two inches. I panicked, shut my little brother in his room, and led my older brother outside onto the porch while calling the police. He continued to beat on me while I was waiting for the cops. All I cared about was keeping him from getting back inside the house. The cops showed up, arrested him, and then I had to call my mom and let her know.

That was an enormously traumatic experience. It was the moment that I first realized that I was incapable of taking care of him and that I had good reason to fear my own brother. It sucked. I love him, but I could never allow him to live with me, especially when I start having kids. I feel guilty all of the time because of it. So I understand how OP feels. Life can be so cruel.

/r/AmItheAsshole Thread Parent