This is tricky question...I don't think you are fully grasping the depth of this situation... You should weigh the pros and cons for either of those options. The surgery could be perfect for a healthy future...but does this make you by any chance (more dependent on her)? Did you consider if your biological kid also have the same genetic problem... what would be your choice? You should discuss all these options with your doctor first and then be open to her and educate her first about how this would affect your quality of life ( whether positive or negative) and discuss her worries and concerns too. She might be misunderstanding some aspects of this procedure.