Sometimes when I'm drunk I feel worried about saying stupid shit and embarassing myself, or getting a bit too comfortable (flirting, no further) with other women...

Saying horribly hurtful shit to my wife while sitting right next to her family members, or even just saying horribly hurtful shit, is not a fear I have, because alcohol doesnt make you do that. Alcohol isnt even going to lower inhibitions enough to say shit like that to an acquaintance I hardly tolerate, much less my fucking wife.

I am usually on the "this sub recommends divorce way too flippantly" side, but I honestly dont see how you come back from this, and I'm far from certain that your wife even wants to. Your post reads very much like you're trying to excuse her behavior though, which is concerning even if she begs forgiveness and you try to work it out.

Shes beautiful and smart, and that's great. There are plenty of beautiful and smart women in the world, and most of them wouldnt treat you this way.